Witness. Nothing. Peace.
How do we learn to be with ourselves? For many a frightening prospect. We are consumed by our own traumas large and small. We never resolve the anxiety of these moments, instead we swallow them continuously. Like many little pills that do not dissolve, they fill our bodies until we bloat. In great discomfort we carry around our collected trauma until we can put it onto someone – another sentient. This is where hate manifests. Not in the swallowing of the pills – but in the moment that we choose to react in a negative way against another individual or idea.
We must resolve our own hate. Without resolving that hate we only perpetuate it in numerous ways, never relieving the pain, only creating more.
Ultimately, what is at issue is working on the self. Not an easy task, but a necessary one. Identifying ego – acknowledging it – examining it -understanding the horrific energetic nightmare it is creating for others and dissolving its solidity.
What I seem to learn from the work I make is that it creates great discomfort for some viewers and great comfort for others. I think of this often and particularly now.
In this time, for each of us to stand by ourselves, alone, and to bear witness – to hold our seat – to stay with the moments of great desperation and to go through them – this is the answer. What is the question? The question is how do we live in this time of hate, more visible than ever before, as it dances on the surface of all we witness?
Hate has always been there – now it treads on the ends of all of our frayed nerves. To live with this is not the answer – to fight the hate with more hate will end nothing.
The hate we put upon others is only our own with which we have not kept company, what we did not bear witness to. It is not comfortable. To pull one’s self up by the boot straps and move on is not the approach – to take of the boots off and to sit in the reality of our own existence is what needs to occur.
This is not something to be done for a short time; but for as long as it takes to be aware of the vicious attack on ourselves manifesting as a vicious attack upon others.
Our quiet desperation identified by Thoreau can no longer be sustained. It must be worked with now; with wisdom, time, and the understanding that the answer is with “me” in those desperately uncomfortable moments – that wreak havoc – that need to be addressed completely – before we destroy everyone around us.