when it rains

All my ancient twisted Karma

From begnningless greed hate and delusion

Born of body speech and mind

 I now fully atone.



Birds singing busily outside. I am in my newly “acquired” office that was a studio and before that a bedroom. I share it with the cats, using a gomden at a low table. Much more comfortable as I sit for the long stretches of time I spend online.

This morning as I get out of the shower I think what it is to write one cohesive paragraph, let alone one page. How our lives – all our lives- every one of us – individually – and as humanity – have changed. We were always changing but now we see that. There are still places in the world that have not, some say, “did not” (meaning they are not going to) get the intense strike of the virus that many have.

My mind no longer stays on one subject, is this from too much online-ing? A short attention span was never a problem. Now? Perhaps it is being in the moment; moment to moment to moment. Or it is being forced to be the observer as opposed to being with primary experience or it is both. Being at home more, living life through the computer screen.  Zoom talks, online yoga, teaching……

….Three people die and one blinded from drinking hand sanitizer….

The last time I wrote…. immense nostalgia about Palm Sunday and how much I loved being with my family as a kid. At that writing we were in Phase I.

We, here, in this space, have always lived frugally. Now that frugality takes on a different meaning. I think of the “minimalist” movement. A privilege to choose and a short lived trend when those who attempt it realize what it actually means. The extreme poverty that others are facing, that some have never left.

In this space, we have tried to stay healthy; our lives have not changed much during this time. Introspection? Constant. What truly provides peace? Health, money, contentment? As individuals we have never been so much alone and together. Left to figure it out locally, whatever “it” is. What it is for every different location in this Country.

….what Country?       

Have we worked hard enough to survive this time? Have we done the emotional and physical work that provides what is necessary to move forward? Do we have the stamina to continue? This time is far deeper than the cursory five minutes that we are taught in business will “build a relationship”.

This time is living the reality of Bodhisattva practice. We must all work to take everyone with us. There are as many forms of that action as there are drops of rain.

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