Yes, something did happen, somewhere between the 51st and 52nd year. Some may equate this with a 21st Century mid-life crisis; but no sports car, affair, divorce, or job change. Some may say “Oh, you did not come to this conclusion earlier?” whatever the case, there is a very tangible shift. It seems to be outside of my work – but will directly affect it.
I’m referring to being brutally honest. This is not about being hurtful to others with total disregard for their feelings. The brutal honesty that I am referring to is like the period at the end of a sentence. It could be characterized as having total disregard for my feelings. Meaning that feelings come and go, the truth is different, you can rest in it – even if it is uncomfortable.
This is about being genuine and not putting myself in any position that i do not want to be in and to appreciate others who do the same. We all know, at times, we speak without thinking, resulting in situations that we are sorry to be in. It is often because we are talking too much and more importantly talking around what we mean. We do not say the truth of who we are, instead we say what we “feel”. We feel we are backed into a corner and we react by not speaking truthfully and do not realize it. Speaking without thinking leads to being placed in a situation that you do not want to be in and furthers a useless conversation…lots of useless conversation and “bourgeois suffering”.
It seems to me the ability to be truthful has to do with being in the moment and being fearless. An awareness of how we are reacting to what we are hearing – and how our body is actually responding in the moment. Knowing that we do not want to feel that way – we do not want to repeat that behavior over and over again. At some moment the brakes are put on and everything stops. We all know inherently that “insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result.”
The time has come to explode that insanity. That reality is liberation.